The second edition of the isiXhosa – English translation of a Rep article, courtesy of TAQA.
Umfundi owayesakufunda eQueen’s uAlutha Kibi, kunye nabanye abafudi, esinye sezifundo zabo kwizifundo zengqondo(Clinical Psychology) baphonononga isihloko sendima edlalwa ngutata ekukhuliseni umntwana oyinkwenkwe (fatherhood). Umdla kaKibi kulo mxholo wenze ukuba lo kaKibi aqhubene nophando malunga nendima ethi idlalwe ngutata kusapho ingakumbi kumntwana oyindodana.
Kwimfundo yakhe enomsila (Masters Studies) ukhangela iziphumo zokungabikho kotata kubomi bomntwana oyindodana yomXhosa ohlala elokishini okanye edolophini. UKibi uthi “Bajonge indima katata ebomini bomntwana oyinkwenkwe, bajonge ifuthe analo utata ekukhuliseni umntwana oyinkwenkwe eyomeleleyo, oku bakwenze ngokwenza udliwano-ndlebe kubantu abahlanu” iziphumo zidize ukuba ukungabikho kotata ebomini benkwenkwe buyayichapazela indima yolwaliko. Baye bafumanisa ukuba inkwenkwe ikhula ngaphandle kwesiko “leMbeleko”. (Eli siko lazisa usana kwizinyanya zekhaya, ufele lalisakusukwa aze unina abeleke ngalo umntwana kumaxesha akudala). Lo mba uye ukhathaze ke xa kufike ixesha lokwaluka iye inkwenkwe izive ingakhuselekanga kwaye ingenanxulumano nezinyanya zayo xa ingalenzelwanga eli siko. Ezinye iziphumo koluphando zifumanise ukuba ukungabiko kotata kuyenza inkwenkwe izive ungamkelekanga ixhelekile nase mphefumlweni. Uninzi lwamadoda akhuliswa ngabafazi. Baye babuzwe umbuzo wokuba kutheni befuna ootata babo nje? Ingaba bayalweya na igalelo elenziwe ngoomama ebomini babo. Omnye nomnye uye alutolike oluluvo ngokuthi umtwana oyinkwenkwe akana mbulelo.
Uthi ufumanise ukuba kubakho ingxaki ukuba unina wenkwenkwe ngumKrestu aze uyise yena akholelwe kwi nkolo yesintu neyenza amasiko. Ucebisa ukuba ukususela ngoku ukuya phambili iiNkosi nezibonda zithabathe inxaxheba kwezi ngxoxo. Uthi xa umntwana oyinkwenkwe ekhula engena tata ucebisa ukuba iinkosi zingenelele ukunika umkhomba-ndlela xa umntwana engenalizwi. Uthi kufuneka kuphononongwe amasiko afana Nembeleko kwii meko apho utata wenkwenkwe engafumaneki ze kufikelelwe kwisigqibo esizokukholisa umntwana lowo uchaphazelekayo.
UKibi woleke ngelithi oomama kufuneka benze kube lula ukuncokola ngootata babantwana ze banike nenkcazelo ecacileyo yokuba kutheni uyise wenkwenkwe engekho ebomini bomntwana. Ucebise ukuba abafana bandwendwele amazoko asebenza ngengqondo zabantu, baqalisa namaqumrhu okukhathalelana kwabantu abaneengxaki ezifanayo khon’ kuze bangathwali uxanduva bodwa. Uthi unqwenela ukuthatha ezi ziphumo zophando lwakhe azise kwindlu yeenkosi nezibonda. (Eastern Cape House of Traditional Leaders).
OLD Queenian Aluta Kibi, along with his peers, as part of their undergraduate studies in Clinical Psychology, looked into topics like fatherhood and families and the impact these had on children.
Kibi’s interest in the topic was so piqued that he continued his research into the role of a father in a family, particularly boys.
Kibi’s Masters Studies revolved around ‘The effects of father absenteeism on the development of a masculine identity of young Xhosa men in an urban township.”
Kibi said, “We looked at what the role is of a father on a boy’s life, what influence he has in a boy’s masculine identity and we did a qualitative research study, where we found five participants which I interviewed.”
Findings included that absenteeism of a father affected the boy’s passage to manhood.
“We discovered that the boy would grow up without, ‘Imbeleko,’ (a traditional ceremony that is conducted as an act of detaching the umbilical connection from the mother and introducing the child to the ancestors.). This becomes an issue when the boy has to undergo circumcision, the boys feel they are not protected and they feel vulnerable.”
He said boys would struggle to find a male figure to stand in for their fathers for the ceremony.
A further finding was that an absent father led to neglect and emotional pain.
“Most men said they would grow up on the side of their mother’s family. They would be asked why they wanted a father, when their mother had done everything for them, making it appear as if they did not appreciate what their mother had done.”
He said they discovered there would be further tensions if the mother was a Christian whilst the father believed in traditional ceremonies.
“I recommend that in future cultural leaders should be involved in these discussions. When the child grows up without a father, they need to intervene to say what can be done for the child that does not have a voice. We need to look at practices like Imbeleko, on how they can be done if the father or biological family cannot be located.”
Kibi said mothers needed to create platforms for male children and to clarify why their fathers were absent.
He encouraged young men to seek psychological services to help them through their ordeal of growing up without a father and said support groups would be an advantage where the young men could share their challenges.
He hopes to take his findings to The Eastern Cape House of Traditional Leaders.